How did life get to be such a clusterfuck? And, how does one bring it back to even a semblance of something normal? Or, a more crucial question, what is normal?

Life, for me, has not been normal for a long time, maybe never. From the initial meeting of sperm and egg, life has been a series of trials for everyone who has been part of my family. When my mother became pregnant, after she was apparently warned via his first wife not to do so, i.e., “just don’t get pregnant, things will be fine unless you do,” the marriage went further downhill. Not that it seemed to be great to begin with, as Mom said my father accused her of cheating the night before the wedding. When she wanted to back out of the ceremony, her mother (my Nanny) told her the wedding was paid for and she had to go through with it. It would have been better for everyone if Mom had put her foot down and refused.

So, against recommendations, Mom got married and, at some point following that disaster, became with child. She shared that my father (he was never a dad) said it wasn’t his and moved out for a while. He returned probably shortly before my entering the world. Of course, it didn’t take long for him to wander again, explaining my two younger half sisters. They parted when I was about two. My father later went on the damage six wives in total and adversely impact the lives of six daughters. I have never met or communicated with the other four, two of whom are now deceased.

For a while, I had a semi-normal childhood living on a hilltop farm outside Steam Valley with my grandparents. I saw my mother occasionally on weekends since she worked in town during the week and lived in her own home on another road a few miles away. I was blissfully unaware of much outside of my somewhat cloistered life there, content to play by myself with my dolls or outside amongst the trees and chickens. My universe expanded some when I went to school.

School entailed my grandfather, Poppy to me, driving down our long farm lane and taking the road to the right, always the right, for about a mile until reaching the bus driver’s home where he transferred me for the next leg of the journey. And it was a journey! It was about six to seven miles to school over country back roads, but it was among friends since we all knew each other. How could we not? Our school was set in two rooms, first through fourth grade, a real old-fashioned country education complete with his and hers facilities–consisting of two small buildings behind the school.

I started this page in 2023 and never finished the story. Today, November 6, 2025, is going to be my attempt at being more diligent at my site. Stay tuned!