Pending Holidays, The Down Side of Joy

I’m not sure what it is about this time of year, perhaps money, perhaps memories, maybe just plain stress, but I feel a need to stay in bed and avoid the world. I’m grumpy and growling at our pets, who see that I am agitated and only want to comfort me by crawling into my lap or snuggling next to me on the bed. That makes me feel very claustrophobic and just tends to make me become more of a grouch and grumble even more.

My mind drifts back to what I perceive were more simple times, the years when I was a child or when our children were young and excited about the holiday. When I ponder the little people years, I realize that I drove the holidays and made the traditions. Did I ruin the times for others by doing that? I want to save that which is important to me by baking the recipes that were important to my grandmother and mother. That makes me wonder if I truly have anything that is mine. Maybe the clear toy candies which have fallen by the wayside in recent memory?

I recall winters in the country fondly, even though the memories are few and fleeting. I wish I had more of them to revisit.