It is November 9, 2025, and I am trying to make sense of my life, not an easy or pleasant task given some choices and errors I have made throughout my time here on this planet. Regrets, I have many. Hindsight is an evil companion, as is knowing the misspent years that I cannot reclaim or undo.

Why did I make some of the mistakes that haunt me now is an unanswered question. I would chose to wind the clock back if it were possible and change many things I am guilty of doing–to this day. No matter my resolve, I still fail often when it counts the most. Patterns of longstanding are hard to break even when I tell myself I won’t repeat the same missteps. I fall short often. Why can’t I deliver what I promise?

I am spending hours in reflection, searching for answers to the unknowns. Why did I take certain actions that were definitely against my best interests? What led me down certain paths that resulted in harm to myself or others? Words and actions that were damaging, to me or others, seem to be a particular failing of mine. I strike out in anger or fear, hurting often those closest to me. As I journey through my memories, I cringe. It’s painful to reflect upon many of the days I have wasted in this too short trek through my years, knowing that the time ahead is much shorter than the days spent to get here.

I must become a better person while I still have time.